Workshop: Screen writing with Gordy Hoffman
April 19, 2009 as part of the Nashville Film Festival

The following notes and exercises were taken from the workshop in the order experienced (more or less)

Exercises

For five minutes, describe your movie idea
For two minutes, write the toughest scene
Write three scenes that will be in the movie (graphic novel) for five minutes
Write a Monolog from my script for two minutes

Notes

How do you create a first draft?

There are lots of approaches…

Blake Synder beat sheet. Formula for creating your screen play. It doesn’t work for ALL movies. It is based on a number of classic movies. (Beat sheet). Structured.
The lowest common denominator is that the movie has to move you.
Non linear thought process. Write whatever I want. Just let the ideas flow. Workshopping. Just write the scene. The ideas will flesh out as you write. Unstructured.
Character breakdowns (monologue or bios) Can write a character history. Thumbnail sketches of characters.
Outline (30, 60, 90 format) Break it up into sections. A first, second, and third sections of the movies.
Cards. Have ideas on different cards and then be able to move the cards around. (Power point). Good for complicated plots
Objectives
mind map
Treatment (know that the while writing the treatment you will be taken off the path. That’s OK. Your writing and uncovering the story) You can stream line the treatment later. Writing the treatment can get you started.
research. Find a balance. Don’t let the research take away from the story or from your personal experience.
Get actors involved to help you create the characters.
Approach it like a song writer?
Start with a plan. As you write you will deviate from the plan. You will go back over the draft and re-write it with a new plan.
50% of your movie is the ending (the reveal)
Plausibility. No one is going to believe the story if it is not plausible. Other people will have to be able to relate to it. People want to know that they can get to the other side of their situation. They can see someone going through what they did and they made it to the other side of there experience. Make it authentic.
Make the goal tangible. A reunion with a spouse. A resolution will work better if the resolution is tangible. Abstract will help make the concrete deeper, but the goal should be clear and tangible.
Don’t be afraid to write about something that makes you uncomfortable. Make people think you went through the experience.
Make it new. Everyone listens to a song over and over until the emotion has been processed. Then you are no longer interested in the song. Deal with the characters doing something we all can relate to, but make it new. New situation, new character.
Make it personal. write about personal experience. It will have power and believable as a result. Write about something I have gone through. It is “a feelings business.”

The goal of rewriting

Take your script to production and connect with an audience.
Why does our script change? Because we keep changing.

Dialog

Scripts are compressions of life. Dialog is not a transcription of actual dialog. It is a compression of a conversation. Practice. Sit down and write pages of dialog. Let the characters write what is on the page. “Damn this is a boring scene.” “What is this scene about?” “How am I supposed to act this scene if I don’t understand what it is about.” Write about my own emotional life.

When dialog doesn’t work (when it takes you out of the movie)

Forced exposition. Information about the story to set it up.
“On the nose.” No subtext. (what’s really happening underneath the dialog). People say things with implied understanding. All the feelings that are not being said that are under what IS being said.
You can reveal exposition through dialog
You can reveal characters through dialog
Less is more
Screen writing is about moving pictures on a screen. Don’t tell someone something that should be shown instead. See if you can write a “silent picture”. Tell the story through pictures – not dialog.

How does description hurt your ending?

Compress the description. Don’t wear out your reader on insignificant details. Keep them engaged in the story. Make it clear (clarity). See just enough to visualize and get the reader through the script. Let the set designers, costume people, etc fill in the details. The script does not need that much detail. No one is going to follow the script exactly. Let the people do what they know. You sell the story, the scene. Let everyone else do their jobs.

Read scripts (download them from the internet) how does the author describe the scene.

Characters

Characters should have depth. Don’t define the entire character by one act. Keep them grey; not black in white. Why? Because that is how real life is. (Frost/Nixon, Crash)
Give the reader the opportunity to “forgive” the antagonist. Give the audience the opportunity to exercise compassion.

Getting feedback

Don’t rely on “professionals”. Get your feedback from ordinary people. Get the reaction from ordinary people. Whatever helps to get you to take another look at your script.

Possible readers

Family (possibly not honest reaction because they’ll try to protect your feelings)
Friends
Fellow screen writers (personal relationships. Nashville Screenwriters Association)
Online screen writing communities (script pimp?)

How do you re-write the screen play

Spot revision process (print out the script and make notes on the script)
Page one rewrite/ copy it over
Descriptions/elements only
Work on one act, or section, at a time
Do a group table “read”. Get actors or friends to sit around a table and read through the script aloud. The strengths and weaknesses will come out in the script
An outline after your first draft

Ending thoughts

LA is ALWAYS looking for scripts. If the script gets rejected, it’s because it’s not ready. Period. Good place to send it BlueCat screenwriting competition.
A typical pitch is 10-15 minutes. Tell general story arcs. If you care about the story, you’ll be compelling.